12/28/12
We had our first ultrasound yesterday, and we actually got to have T do it. It's completely different to have someone who actually cares about you as a person and hugs you when they come in the room. She gave us lots of information, answered questions, and best of all, got to the ultrasound fast.
I take that back, best of all, there was a heartbeat! We could see it flickering very clearly on the screen. Everything else looked good, too. The yolk sack was there, the shape around the baby was normal, there was a whiter lining around it (don't remember what it was, but apparently it was good). T thought she could see what would become the umbilical cord, too.
The baby measured 6 weeks 3 days on most of the measurements she took. We thought we were 6 weeks 5 days, but at this stage it's not abnormal to be within a few days. Plus, we were estimating based on my last menstrual period, so we could be wrong. The only thing that scares me is that the last baby quit growing at 6 weeks, 3 days. We went in at 6 weeks 1 day and could see the heartbeat just like this time. Two weeks later, there was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks 3 days.
We have an ultrasound again next week to look for growth. Honestly, I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much until then. And I know we aren't out of the woods at 7 weeks, but it will pass that milestone for me. Everyone keeps saying that everything will be fine, not to worry until we have something to worry about, etc. But everyone said that last time and it was not fine. So while we did take a step in the right direction, I am still trying to guard my heart and wait to see what God has in store.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Saturday, December 22, 2012
6 Weeks!
It is December 22nd, and we are 6 weeks along today. It has been a very long 2 weeks so far; I can only imagine what the next few months are going to be like.
We found out December 8th that we were pregnant. The home pregnancy test was a digital one, so it very clearly said "pregnant." I had woken Stephen up to tell him I was going to take the test (and couldn't wait any longer because I really had to go to the bathroom). Every single test I've ever taken we've looked at together, and this one was no different. When the timer went off, we looked, and there it was!
The first thing Stephen did was pray, which was the best thing he could have done. We were happy, but more than anything, we were scared. After losing the last baby, it is terrifying to think that we could go through that again. But no matter how hard we try, there is no way to keep ourselves from getting attached to this one.
We tried to get our parents together to tell them all at once again. But if I called and did the same thing as last time, they would know (or at least be suspicious). So we ended up buying picture frames that said something about grandchildren being the greatest gifts, and in the photo area I made a "For a picture of Baby Washburn coming on or around August 17, 2013" card. Then we took them over to each of their houses and gave it to them. As soon as we randomly walked in the door and handed them a present, they all pretty much knew. There were tears and hugs and little dances. But we were only 4 weeks, so we all knew it was a long road ahead.
We haven't exactly been keeping it a secret, but we haven't been telling a lot of people either. Having to notify everyone of the miscarriage last time was really hard. But at the same time, we want people to know if we miscarry because we want to have the support of family and friends. Plus, it's so hard to keep this a secret!
I think my first cravings were the Sweet Potato Smashfries and Smashburger. They sounded so good, when most food did not sound appealing at all. I haven't really been sick (at least I haven't thrown up), but I've been nauseous off and on and food just hasn't sounded very good.
Last week, so at about 5 and a half weeks, there was some spotting Tuesday night. When I saw it, my arms went numb. I think it was adrenaline. It was too similar to what we'd experienced before and it terrified me. I took the next day off of work. Luckily, I had told some good friends at work about the pregnancy (and they also knew about the miscarriage), so they all covered for me and made it really easy. I pretty much stayed in bed the next day. I don't know if bed rest would help this early in pregnancy, but I figured it certainly wouldn't hurt. Stephen came home during lunch and worked from here the rest of the day. We did a blood test that night, and the results were good. My progesterone level was at 17 (over 10 is good) and my hcg level was above 33,000! Which is really high. Stephen says it's twins. We did another hcg level test on Friday morning (about 36 hours later), and it was up above 47, 0000, which is a pretty good increase. From what I've read, the hcg level should double approximately every 72 hours. And even though my body doesn't really deal with miscarriage well, I don't think the hcg level would be rising if I wasn't still pregnant.
We have our first ultrasound with T on December 27th. I'm so excited for it to be with her, someone who cares about us as individuals and not just another patient. I was the sickest I've been this morning. I was at the point where I was debating whether I needed to head to the bathroom to throw up or not. As much as I hate throwing up, I want to so bad right now because it would be another sign that this was actually happening. I know not all women throw up, but it is a classic pregnancy symptom.
I have had to go to the bathroom a lot, which is good. I think I have a cyst, which T says is good (and normal) because it secretes hormones. It's painful sometimes, and it makes me worried when there's pain in that area, but if it's helping the baby, bring it on. I have been craving deviled egg sandwiches on whole wheat english muffins with a piece of green leaf lettuce on the top. How's that for very specific? But it's not an unhealthy craving. And it gets me some protein and a little bit of vegetables. So I've had them the last two days. And they've never tasted so good.
The last two weeks have been very emotional. Checking for spotting every time I go to the bathroom, being crazy in tune with every twinge and cramp coming from the area, plus having crazy amounts of hormones making everything even more emotional that it would have been otherwise. But at the same time, I am so excited for this baby. We are praying all the time, and I know we've got tons of prayers out there with our family and friends who believe that God can make miracles happen. So here's to our little miracle.
We found out December 8th that we were pregnant. The home pregnancy test was a digital one, so it very clearly said "pregnant." I had woken Stephen up to tell him I was going to take the test (and couldn't wait any longer because I really had to go to the bathroom). Every single test I've ever taken we've looked at together, and this one was no different. When the timer went off, we looked, and there it was!
The first thing Stephen did was pray, which was the best thing he could have done. We were happy, but more than anything, we were scared. After losing the last baby, it is terrifying to think that we could go through that again. But no matter how hard we try, there is no way to keep ourselves from getting attached to this one.
We tried to get our parents together to tell them all at once again. But if I called and did the same thing as last time, they would know (or at least be suspicious). So we ended up buying picture frames that said something about grandchildren being the greatest gifts, and in the photo area I made a "For a picture of Baby Washburn coming on or around August 17, 2013" card. Then we took them over to each of their houses and gave it to them. As soon as we randomly walked in the door and handed them a present, they all pretty much knew. There were tears and hugs and little dances. But we were only 4 weeks, so we all knew it was a long road ahead.
We haven't exactly been keeping it a secret, but we haven't been telling a lot of people either. Having to notify everyone of the miscarriage last time was really hard. But at the same time, we want people to know if we miscarry because we want to have the support of family and friends. Plus, it's so hard to keep this a secret!
I think my first cravings were the Sweet Potato Smashfries and Smashburger. They sounded so good, when most food did not sound appealing at all. I haven't really been sick (at least I haven't thrown up), but I've been nauseous off and on and food just hasn't sounded very good.
Last week, so at about 5 and a half weeks, there was some spotting Tuesday night. When I saw it, my arms went numb. I think it was adrenaline. It was too similar to what we'd experienced before and it terrified me. I took the next day off of work. Luckily, I had told some good friends at work about the pregnancy (and they also knew about the miscarriage), so they all covered for me and made it really easy. I pretty much stayed in bed the next day. I don't know if bed rest would help this early in pregnancy, but I figured it certainly wouldn't hurt. Stephen came home during lunch and worked from here the rest of the day. We did a blood test that night, and the results were good. My progesterone level was at 17 (over 10 is good) and my hcg level was above 33,000! Which is really high. Stephen says it's twins. We did another hcg level test on Friday morning (about 36 hours later), and it was up above 47, 0000, which is a pretty good increase. From what I've read, the hcg level should double approximately every 72 hours. And even though my body doesn't really deal with miscarriage well, I don't think the hcg level would be rising if I wasn't still pregnant.
We have our first ultrasound with T on December 27th. I'm so excited for it to be with her, someone who cares about us as individuals and not just another patient. I was the sickest I've been this morning. I was at the point where I was debating whether I needed to head to the bathroom to throw up or not. As much as I hate throwing up, I want to so bad right now because it would be another sign that this was actually happening. I know not all women throw up, but it is a classic pregnancy symptom.
I have had to go to the bathroom a lot, which is good. I think I have a cyst, which T says is good (and normal) because it secretes hormones. It's painful sometimes, and it makes me worried when there's pain in that area, but if it's helping the baby, bring it on. I have been craving deviled egg sandwiches on whole wheat english muffins with a piece of green leaf lettuce on the top. How's that for very specific? But it's not an unhealthy craving. And it gets me some protein and a little bit of vegetables. So I've had them the last two days. And they've never tasted so good.
The last two weeks have been very emotional. Checking for spotting every time I go to the bathroom, being crazy in tune with every twinge and cramp coming from the area, plus having crazy amounts of hormones making everything even more emotional that it would have been otherwise. But at the same time, I am so excited for this baby. We are praying all the time, and I know we've got tons of prayers out there with our family and friends who believe that God can make miracles happen. So here's to our little miracle.
No Oops!
*Note, I actually wrote this about a month ago, but never published it.*
So we went in for another MRI to see if the doctor had made a mistake on the surgery. Last time, even though I had worn sweatpants, a tshirt, a sports bra, and a hair twisty with no metal, I still had to wear a hospital gown. So this time, I wore normal clothes and didn't worry about it. When I got there, he said because I was wearing jeans, I would have to change. When asked, he said I wouldn't have had to change if I'd worn sweatpants. Apparently different MRI techs have different opinions.
This time I didn't have a gown, I had fancy gauze-ish blue shorts. Basically like the disposable hospital gowns, but sewn into shorts form with the elastic on the top. The were baggy and came down to my knees. Coupled with me socks that I still had on (to keep my feet warm), I was totally in fashion.
I had a very "been there, done that" sort of attitude going into the whole thing. Until he said he would pull me out about halfway through to inject me with something. Say what? There were no needles involved last time. Totally not okay, I HATE needles. Now you're going to stick me in a tube and make me wait 20 minutes to get stabbed and then stick me back in the tube? Not cool, dude. Not cool.
It really did psych me out a little. Last time I just sang along with the crazy loud poundings of the machine. This time, I was trying to sing songs, but I kept having a panicky feeling rise up. I know it's a total mental thing, and I did it before, so I can do it again. But it was much more difficult to stay calm. What's funny is when I was desperately trying to think of songs, the songs that came to mind were songs from when I was a kid. The old Psalty tapes and movies we used to listen to were the songs that came to mind. I think it was God's way of helping me calm down.
Anyway, I made it through without squeezing the panic ball. And best of all, the results were good. The septum is gone, so now we are just back to dealing with the PCOS. Which is what we thought we were dealing with in May. Six months later, we can start trying again.
I swear the machine I was in was bigger...
So we went in for another MRI to see if the doctor had made a mistake on the surgery. Last time, even though I had worn sweatpants, a tshirt, a sports bra, and a hair twisty with no metal, I still had to wear a hospital gown. So this time, I wore normal clothes and didn't worry about it. When I got there, he said because I was wearing jeans, I would have to change. When asked, he said I wouldn't have had to change if I'd worn sweatpants. Apparently different MRI techs have different opinions.
This time I didn't have a gown, I had fancy gauze-ish blue shorts. Basically like the disposable hospital gowns, but sewn into shorts form with the elastic on the top. The were baggy and came down to my knees. Coupled with me socks that I still had on (to keep my feet warm), I was totally in fashion.
I had a very "been there, done that" sort of attitude going into the whole thing. Until he said he would pull me out about halfway through to inject me with something. Say what? There were no needles involved last time. Totally not okay, I HATE needles. Now you're going to stick me in a tube and make me wait 20 minutes to get stabbed and then stick me back in the tube? Not cool, dude. Not cool.
It really did psych me out a little. Last time I just sang along with the crazy loud poundings of the machine. This time, I was trying to sing songs, but I kept having a panicky feeling rise up. I know it's a total mental thing, and I did it before, so I can do it again. But it was much more difficult to stay calm. What's funny is when I was desperately trying to think of songs, the songs that came to mind were songs from when I was a kid. The old Psalty tapes and movies we used to listen to were the songs that came to mind. I think it was God's way of helping me calm down.
Anyway, I made it through without squeezing the panic ball. And best of all, the results were good. The septum is gone, so now we are just back to dealing with the PCOS. Which is what we thought we were dealing with in May. Six months later, we can start trying again.
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